A reply on this board arrives beside whatever else the poster has received, and the ones that get read are the ones that make reading easy. The same rule holds on both sides, whether you are answering an advert on the women’s side or one from the shelf of mees otsib naist on the other.
Read the advert twice
The first read tells you whether you are interested. The second tells you what the poster asked for: the town, the age range, whether they will travel, what they do not want. A reply that ignores those lines reads as if you had not bothered, and the poster has no way to tell that from a reply written in a hurry.
The subject line
Use the town or the heading of the advert. An empty subject line or a single word looks like a mass mailing, and it is the first thing that gets a reply binned. If you found the advert by searching, saying so costs nothing and gives the poster a reason to read on. A man who arrived through a search such as sex tutvus will often be writing to the newest advert on the page, so an opening line that names the advert does a lot of work.
Two sentences about you
Give your age and your town, then say what you are after. That is enough for the poster to place you. A list of expectations with no introduction asks the other person to do all the work, and a paragraph about your week does the same.
One question at the end is worth including, and it should be a question the advert does not already answer. Whether they have met anyone from the board before is a better opener than what they are doing tonight.
Keep it short
Write what fits on one screen of a phone. Long messages take time to read and answer, and the first reply is not the place to spend that. Save the longer exchanges for the second message, if there is one.
Write in the language of the advert where you can, and in your own where you cannot. A short message in either language is understood; a long one in a language the poster does not read is not.
Timing
Adverts last ten days and the newest ones are listed first, so a reply sent on the day of the posting lands while the advert is at the top of its shelf. Replies sent later still arrive, and the poster is more likely to have stopped reading by then.
When there is no answer
Send one follow-up, two days later, and nothing after that. Silence is an answer, and a third message is how people end up reported. Meanwhile the front of the board has moved on, and the advert you answered may be gone while you are waiting.
What not to send
Never send money, a gift card, bank details or a photograph of a document. Do not send a photograph of someone else, and do not ask for one before the conversation has earned it. Ignore any message that asks you to move to a paid site to prove who you are.
Meeting
If the exchange goes well, suggest a public place near your own side of town and a time you can leave from. Tell one person where you are going. The board requires everyone to be 18 or over, and it does not check what an advert says, so the first meeting is where you find out whether the advert was accurate.
